Shade Queens, Please Take Your Seats

The drama. The glamour. The shade. Everything about reality TV reunions are pure gold. The season built us reality TV suckers up for the last few months for a three part episode that requires the utmost attention. Since there are two shows having their reunion (Vanderpump Rules and Atlanta Housewives) I needed to take the time to appreciate the greatness that is a reunion.

What's better than a reunion is the beginning of a new season and as it pans out, when drama packed moments happen, you can't wait to see Andy Cohen rip them a new one and readddd these bitches. Like when Joe Giudice has a scandalous phone call with some random mistress and had his mic on and Andy gave it to him, good. These are the moments I live for. And Andy isn't as innocent as he looks. He is very strategic in seating arrangements on the couches. It gets the cast heated up because they know for damn sure that if they are placed on opposite couches, some shit is about to pop off. Andy, you're a genius. 

Vanderpump Rules part three reunion is ready to play on the DVR, alas the TV is mine! You know damn well that I have the ultimate set up as I do every reunion: a blanket, slippers, wine, phone, prescription glasses and dimmed lighting. I have a full bowl of Frosted Flakes with freshly poured milk and Jake is playing his guitar in the's about to go down. 

Once the ladies sit on the couch with the oh-so-glamorous ball gowns, weaves and caked on makeup, it's the happiest I will be since the season started. Each reunion, there is always that one who is having a really bad hair day or wearing something that they shouldn't. Like Countess Luann from New York housewives who always ends up wearing a terrible metallic dress that should have never been made. Makes for good tabloid headlines. 

Even Luann agrees. 

Nothing beats the amount of shade that is dished out on reunions. It's why they exist. Let's face it, people aren't watching this shit to see them sing Kumbaya. 

Katie's face says it all. She wants nothing to do with Stassi and someone doesn't need to watch the entire season to figure that out. That's one of the beauties of a reunion. Just watch the it, you'll get all the highlights, plus the reaction of these bitches on drama they squashed months prior. You can almost feel the sting from the band-aid getting ripped off their wounds. Now, that's what I call good television. 

I get much fulfillment from watching senseless, trashy, reality television because it's a time that I don't have to all. It's garbage for the mind. It's nice to be in someone else's drama without the repercussions, is that bad? 

Speaking of trashy, this is the Average Girl Chronicles top pick for reality TV reunion moments. I sure hope post jail Teresa Giudice will be just as crazy as OG Teresa. 

It's funny that reunions are painted to be a time of reflection for the cast, a time to explain their bad behavior and shit talking in the confessional. But in reality (pun intended), it just creates a hostile environment where they dig DEEP into their secrets...the ones you want to know but they are too juicy to air on national television. But when the heat is under popcorn kernels, it's only a matter a time they will pop and the skeletons will come out of their closet. 

Watching reality TV is a series commitment. You have to bargain time to occupy the living room in order to watch arguments and fights for hours. Jake will not let me even scroll over the show in the DVR without saying "no" before I even ask. So while I just finished Pump Rules reunion, I'm going to sneak in part three of the Atlanta Housewives reunion before Jake notices.