Dear Pimple,

I am writing to you in regards to your recent outburst in the middle of my face. 

You and your pesky friends should know by now that I am constantly interviewing people, close up, and your unsightly being is not appreciated, nor do I appreciate your persistence. It is taking away from my work, so thanks, you jerk. 

We know each other all too well and I'd like to think you would have a shred of consideration, but no. You've created what looks like a planet on my face and there isn't enough concealer in my arsenal of makeup to cover you up. I don't need this drama in my life right now. 

Yes, maybe I picked at you, a tiny blackhead, too prematurely but the lighting in my bathroom is just too good to not pick at my face. For that, I am not sorry. Pimple, I take all the right precautions every night by washing and exfoliating my face, using refining toner and putting on an all natural moisturizer to ensure this wont happen. Can you give me a break? What's your obsession with my face anyway? You are the only one on my face at the moment which makes it even worse because you stand out more. You always have to be the center of attention.

I will continue to try and pop you every day until you go away for good, although my efforts will just get you more irritated, but you've left me no choice. Now I have to carry around concealer because who knows when you will act up. Stop throwing temper tantrums and grow the eff up. I can't take having lead state officials stare at you on my face. It's embarrassing! Plus, that means they aren't paying attention to me so now you are taking away from me time, after all it is MY FACE. Jeez, selfish much. 

I am a 25-year-old working professional, it's not okay to have you on my face. By the looks of it, I have a feeling you are going to continue your childish ways but don't worry, I'm calling in reinforcements. You are forcing me to whip out the toothpaste and rubbing alcohol. I would rather feel the burn then continue to see you on my face. Plus, I just bought new, expensive makeup and you are distracting from my contouring skills. 

I can tell you are having a good time on my face considering the amount of time you've been there but to be clear, you are NOT welcome. Go ahead, have fun while you can because it is not going to last. I warn you, if you plan to continue your stay, I expect you pay rent because the amount of money I spend on facial beauty products is very expensive. 

Oh, and please spread the word to your homies, I'm making an appointment for a facial next week. 

Sincerely,

Anita Baffoni