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Tuesday, February 16, 2016

50 Thoughts Girls Have While Getting Their Eyebrows Threaded

threading eyebrows
Threading is the best thing to come to female grooming since razors. Eyebrows are a huge focus nowadays, in fact there are a million Instagram accounts just on perfecting the craft. No more plucking and messing up your own brows. Get those bad boys threaded! Not only is it better than waxing (because your skin isn't being yanked in every which way) the overall shape is better. Fellow Italians may have to get their brows and upper-lip done frequently, which is why I found an eyebrow salon in Providence that has a $10 per month, unlimited package which saves me $30 each month. I end up going twice a month and each time, I dread it because it hurts like a bitch but in the end, totally worth it. Beyonce says it best; pretty hurts.

Here are 50 thoughts girls have while getting their eyebrows threaded.

1. Where is my normal lady?

2. She's going to eff them up royally

3. She better not, or my selfie game will NOT be on fleek 

4. Shit, I should have taken my blanket scarf off because it is way too hot in here

5. Why did she not use a breath mint before threading my brows?

6. This doesn't hurt that bad this time

7. Nope, still hurts

8. It's not like an "I just got shot hurt" more like an annoying hurt

9. Boy, my hands are getting clammy

10. I don't know why I'm squeezing my hands so much, it isn't helping the pain at all

11. Why did the string break? Are my brows that bad?!

12. I'm glad it broke to give me a minute to itch my nose

13. I can feel your stomach resting on my head and I don't like it, but by the gurgles, you should eat
lunch

14. Why are you taking so long on one eyebrow?

15. Something went wrong!

16. I hope they aren't too thin

17. Please stop telling me I should come once a week, this shit hurts too much

18. Why can't I ever seem to stretch my eyebrow correctly

19. Wow, your hands are cold

20. Thanks for showing me for the hundredth time how to correctly hold my eyebrow

21. Shit, I hope I don't rip my jacket because it is really not helping me lift my arms to stretch

22. Why do I have to stretch my skin, anyway?

23. Get through this and you won't have to come back for another two weeks

24. Can you please blow out all of the incense, I'm getting a headache

25. Is there that much hair on my forehead?

26. Why are you threading my forehead?

27. Boy this is taking a long time

28. I can feel everyone watching me

29. I'm sorry I keep fidgeting, this REALLY HURTS

30. Is my upper lip that bad that you need to make a comment about it? It's not my fault!

31. Do you have to thread that close to my nose?

32. Can the thread get nose hairs?

33. This feels like popping a pimple under my nose which is the worst pain ever

34. I think I'm getting string burn because you keep going over the same spot and, yes, IT HURTS

35. I would rather my eyebrows get done multiple times then endure my lip getting done

36. No, I don't want the "soothing gel" because its probably just hand sanitizer and I don't want to break out.

37. Please move so I can see myself in the mirror

38. THANK GOD they aren't effed up

39. She could have gotten that one hair but I'll just do it with my tweezers when I get home because there is no way in hell I'm getting back in that chair

40. Jeez, there is so much hair on my face. Did she really just pull that much hair off my face?

41. Can I have a tissue to dry my eyes?

42. Wow, my face is so red and irritated

43. Thanks for not effing up my face

44. Even if you did, there's nothing a little brow pencil can't fix

45. I'm so glad this is over

47. I can't wait to get in my car to really inspect her threading job

47. Wow, my eyebrows are on fleek

48. I hope they don't grow in too quickly because I can't handle this again

49. Ugh...two weeks will come too quickly

50. Now I know why Peaches Monroe made that vine

Peaches Monroe

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