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Wednesday, September 23, 2015

The Average Girl's Guide To Being Tall


I've never been a fan of the Kardashian reality shows, or them for that matter, however Kendall Jenner is her own breed. The one good thing that comes of Kendall's growing popularity is her way of making being tall be cool. Her and I are both 5' 10'' so I frequently look to her to see how she pulls it off. Towering over everyone in a room is very uncomfortable, I mean real awkward-turtle. So here is my guide to how I have accepted being an Amazonian woman.
^^^please excuse my blurry pic
1. Get over-the-knee boots
Keeping with the season, over-the-knee boots are my favorite because it makes my legs feel more proportionate. Anything shorter doesn't look right to me. I suggest these types of boots because it doesn't fight my tall legs, rather compliment them...? What am I saying? For those tall gals, just get the damn things. You won't regret it. And check out HauteLook.com for boot deals. They have a bunch of killer ones right now! My morning ritual would not be compelete without HauteLook.com browsing. 

And yes, that is my twin sister, and yes she is five inches shorter than me, with blue eyes. Weird, I know. 

2. Prepare yourself for the looks and names associated with being tall
People must think that I don't mind when people call me an Amazonian woman (even though I just called myself that in the beginning of this post) or remind me, "Hey! You sure are tall," like I didn't already know. I don't point out the fact that you are short, so keep it moving. 

3. When taking pictures, bend one knee. It makes all the difference. 
It helps if you have a short best friend which is literally the story of my life. We look like Snooki and Jwow, minus the fake boobs, pounds makeup, hair poof, and whatever else about them. Frankly, it's just a height thing. 
4. Squat ladies, squat 
If you are my height or taller, there is a 95 percent chance you will be the tallest in the picture. To make it look not as uneven, squat and make the group look porportionate. To put it into perspective, I am posing next to a girl who is just about 5 foot flat. That means I am 10 inches taller then her. See what I mean?

If your at an event where a lot of pictures will be taken, it will be the most excersise you will have all day...which makes it acceptable to have two helpings of wedding cake.Oh, and ALWAYS take the selfie group pic, which ties into my next point...

5. Always volunteer to take the group selfie pic. Because if not, you won't make it in the shot
Since our arms are long enough, just volunteer to take the picture, unless you want to be cut out of it. It makes things so much easier, plus I'm sort of a control freak...

6. Own it. (I'm still having a hard time)
I don't know why I made this a bullet because I don't even know how to own it. Regardless of what people tell me, walking into a room as the tallest person is super uncomfortable, since you can read everyone's facial express. Damn she's tall. What a freak. Probably not the freak thing, but that is what it seems like sometimes, especially in a group of strangers.

7. Start charging an hourly rate for being the designated friend, hawking the creepers away at bars. Anita aka Momma Bird
Whenever I go out to the few good bars in Providence with all of my extra short besties, I end up being the hawk, making sure no creepos try to pull some shady ish and try to dance behind your friend and pretend she doesn't notice. On some real talk, WHY DO GUYS DO THIS?! Guys, if you want to dance, just effing ask or make a gesture. Weirdo's

8. Ask a tall enough guy to prom. Yes, I've done it...twice. 
Do you have any idea how hard it is as a highschooler to find a prom date that is taller than you? Impossible. I couldn't be picky. I was so pumped when I had a boyfriend for my junior prom because for once, I didn't have to over think it. There is the thought of the perfect prom date who is this tall, dark and handsome knight who walks into the prom with you on his arm and people are super jelly over. YEAH, that was never me. On top of it all, I had to wear the ugliest shoes that were like an inch tall because I was legit taller than 80 percent of the guys in my school. #thestruggleisreal 

9. Wash cotton in cold water 
If you have any clothes that you will like to keep, do this. Especially with maxi dresses and rompers because they are always bound to shrink. Maybe it is because all of the junk in my trunk. On that note, I joined weight watchers because I don't fit into any of my pants...

10. Find a great tailor
This is a new realization for me. It wasn't until I brought this amazing pair of cloth pants in Italy that were too long (unbelievable, right?) and the tailor worked her magic and now I have a pair of pants that actually fit me. Even if it is a pair of jeans or a midi dress that aren't the right length, the tailor can make it work. Another tip, go to a tiny tailor shop somewhere near you. The older women who work there have dedicated their lives to tailoring and they do an amazing job.

Luckily for me, I found a pretty kick ass fiancé, who happens to be taller than me !

On a side note, I can't do this bi-weekly blogging thing. I have been getting too excited about The Average Girl Chronicles so I'm going to attempt doing a weekly post during the beginning each week. Let's see how that goes! 

And of course, HAPPY FALL !!!

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