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Wednesday, April 16, 2014

The Jungle Gym

#fitness #fitlife #fitworld #eatclean #stopwithallthefitnesshashtags

If you are a habitual fitness hash tagger, I hate you. Okay, maybe not hate, more like annoy. I get it, you are on the fitness kick, good for you but please, chill out with the million fitness hash tags on all of your Instagram "I want everyone to know I am at the gym" selfies. 

When the Average Girl Chronicles (aka me) goes to the gym, it is quite the experience. I voluntarily put myself in a sweaty, smelly weight room jungle filled of apes grunting and pounding their chest like it's their mating call. That's just the men. The frequent women gym-goers are a site to see. They stick out like sore thumbs, whereas I like to stay under the radar when I'm working out.

The beauty queens: These ladies are wearing more makeup than a Saturday night out, with their hair perfectly done in a styled pony tail. Seriously though, when I go to the gym I look like the hot mess express leaving the dysfunction junction (giving credit for that line to Julie from season 9 of Bad Girls Club, don't judge). My hair is a huge frizz ball. These broads have more neon colored Under Armour gear than any one should, and of course, they have many sneakers to match their outfit, or mood for that matter. When I see someone with bright red sneaks, I'm getting out of their way. 

The fitness freaks: Monkey see, monkey do. Funny enough, these type of women are usually lifting weights next to their buffed up babes. They pump each other up like its a Arnold Schwarzenegger movie. These are the ones probably hash tagging the shit out of their pictures on social media. I DON'T CARE THAT IT IS LEG DAY. Just do your peace and keep it moving....moving out of my way so I can bench my puny 60 pounds, if that. Wanna know a secret of mine? I sometimes move the pin to a larger weight on the machines so the person after me doesn't think I am that much of a wimp. #sorrynotsorry 

The liars: Take a step back and look around. You will see the girls on their phones for more time than they are squatting. Every so often they will look around to see if anyone is looking at them, catching on to their laziness. I call them liars because these girls (I say girls because they are usually younger) are tagging themselves on Facebook so it SEEMS as though they are active individuals.(insert NeNe Leaks voice here), girl please, go home and go for a run or something. You look foolish.
  
The chatty Cathys: This group usually includes middle aged women who seek a friendly face while at the gym, hey, I don't blame them. I personally would rather workout alone because I don't want to be at the gym longer than I have too. Even if there is the juiciest gossip, talk to me in an hour when I'm leaving. A lot of these women are regulars at a Zumba class. Good for you sistah! It's a great workout, especially with a buddy. I wish more of my friends went to my gym because I am a huge fan of Zumba. It is a great alternative to working out. Anyway, most of the time these women are chatting next to each other on the treadmills about what they will cook for dinner, or the latest on celebrity gossip, with a People Magazine in front of them. At least they are actually working out, just don't talk to me. Thanks :)

The in-between: This is where I fall. I know too little about too much. Between my boyfriend giving me tips on how to work out a muscle group, to getting showed up by women who lifts that one extra set than me, this is why I dread going to the gym. Dammit, that is why I find a far corner so no one comes next to me. Catch a hint! I'm alone for a reason. To be honest, I don't know a fraction of what I should, especially since I am trying to get in better shape. Constantly, I am looking up workout routines that I can use to my benefit. I have been using machines that I would have never thought to use because of its location. Location is everything in the gym. You don't want to be a sissy and stay in the unofficially designated "women's area" but when you go where the big boys are, you look out of place and confused, well at least me. Yes, I have a cute pair of running shoes and occasionally I go to the gym with a face of makeup ONLY because it was after my days work, but at least I am trying!


Integrating the gym into your schedule is a pain in the ass but don't let that stop you, ladies! Now that I am seeing results with the help from the Paleo diet, I actually get a wee-bit excited to workout. Find your motivation people. Peer pressure is inevitable at the gym because you don't want to look clueless, so you do (or at least I do) what other people are doing. My advice, workout next to a personal trainer or a well fit person, you learn a lot of great tips. I guess monkey see, monkey do goes for more than just men. 



3 comments:

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    ReplyDelete
  2. Great post! I love your blog!
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    Maggie from
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    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much! I will check your blogs out too :)

      Delete

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